This is a personal story that I wish to share with you and I hope you find something in it that will shed light on your own path. Namasté, Stina

In my life two events including the passing of a loved one has colored my vision and also got stuck within me for a long long time, causing me suffering and pain.

The first one was with a human being, suddenlty killed in an accident, thus no suffering occured as I know of. He was at that current time my beloved.
The second one included a long, long friend for 17 years. He was a cat and his name was Solo. He was a kind soul and lived a mostly happy life with us but in the end suffered greatly due to health issues which lead him also to in his last days become blind.

Before I continue my story about how this has affected me I wish to share this old story of the two munks on their way back home to their monestary. Enjoy.

“A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side. The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman. Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his 
journey. The younger monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them. Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could contain himself any longer, and blurted out “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?” The older monk looked at him and replied, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?”

Well, you might wonder, what does that have to do with what you just told me?
Last night as I was falling alseep a  voice spoke to me and told me:
” I have died, that is true, but I am no longer suffering. Why do you cry over my suffering when I am not? My death and my life has passed, that is true. But what lives still within you?”

Yes, I had separated the two events by the amount of suffering that I perceived had occured, not being able to see that the moment has already passed. The amount of pain I felt was in correlation to that suffering.  And yet, now,  in my present moment all I have, all that is still here, is the Love. Their earthy suffering, to which extent they were consiously experiencing any or not, is over. And yet the pain within me had lasted for so long. I felt so much pain in me when I thought about my beloved cat´s suffering than that of my beloved human. These matters are of course complex but the message remains.

What are you still carrying with you causing you to become unattentive to your present moment?